Greetings from Kelly Urich, the most trusted name in music!

We had a couple of great shows last week…and the rest sucked.  Actually, Kris Ketz from KMBC 9 First News filled in for Mackenzie during her anniversary…and she somehow got that day off.  How do I get that contract?  Also, I did my show from 34 feet deep in the hole that developed on the I-470 ramp to 71 Highway.  Thanks for all the calls of support and a special thanks to the guy who dropped by with free beer.

TOP 5 THINGS WE FOUND IN THE HOLE ON THE WESTBOUND 470 RAMP:

#5.  Larry Moore looking for fertile soil for tomatoes and zucchini.

#4.  A company named LaFarge dropped by wanting to know if the hole led to any homes under Sugar Creek.

#3.  My latest ratings.

#2.  Osama bin Laden.

#1.  The Royals playoff hopes.

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My incredibly intelligent, yet dyslexic wife went to book our trip to British Columbia and she booked a flight to leave at 7 in the morning and arrive there at 11.  Then she went back and checked to find she accidentally checked 7 PM arriving at 11:00 at night.  United won’t let us change without charging $600 so I’m looking for someone who works at United…either that or a new wife.

A giant fire engulfed a building in the Argentine district Friday morning.  Ironically, I was headed there to buy a floating cooler at Mickey’s Surplus but I never made it because I was stopped by road construction.  Thankfully, I have an alibi.  So does Lindsay Lohan.

Queen of Soul Aretha Franklin is coming to Kansas City to kick off the 12-month countdown to the Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts.  She performs September 26 on the Live Stage in the Power and Light District.  The Live Stage is an awesome place for a concert and we will have one October 2 as part of our Tour de BBQ.  I haven’t signed a band yet.  So far, only DJ Jazzy Jeff has expressed interest.

THE SURGEON GENERAL HAS DETERMINED MEL GIBSON QUITTING SMOKING IS HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH

There’s a new theory as to why Mel allegedly attacked Oksana on January 6th.  A “source” close to the situation says that Mel had quit smoking that day.

A tropical depression is racing towards the BP spill site.  I had a tropical depression after a waitress in Jamaica gave me crabs….and I ordered lobster.

A new study says people who love to eat meat gain more weight.
**I think that should be the new city slogan.  Drop ‘City of Fountains’

Go with ‘PEOPLE WHO LOVE TO EAT MEAT GAIN MORE WEIGHT!’
Women’s Health magazine has decided to do an annual list of the Best Summer Bodies. They just issued the inaugural list, and it’s topped by “Sports Illustrated” swimsuit issue cover girl Brooklyn Decker.

#1 BROOKLYN DECKER

#2. JESSICA ALBA

#3. ASHLEY GREENE (that hot brunette on Twilight.)

#4. VANESSA HUDGENS

#5. JESSICA BIEL

#6. CARRIE UNDERWOOD

#7. KATY PERRY  (She’s my #1 on the list.)

#8. LAUREN CONRAD (from a bunch of lame MTV shows.)

#9. JENNIFER ANISTON – (hanging in there.)

#10. KIM KARDASHIAN – (only because Ryan Seacrest voted over and over.)

I didn’t know there was a Women’s Health magazine?

Bumpers sticker of the week:  Honk if you’ve been abused by Al Gore!

A new survey shows America’s favorite sports stars are Tiger Woods and Kobe Bryant.
**Apparently, the survey didn’t poll any women!

EXCESSIVE MEAT WARNING!

Temperatures near 100 with high humidity and little wind have killed over 1,000 cattle in central Kansas in recent days.  Every year cattle die from weather related issues but a run of conditions like this is extremely rare.

**Ironically, so are the cattle!

Man vs Food guy Adam Richmond will tackle the Papa Bob’s BBQ sandwich called the Ultimate Destroyer Challenge.

Papa Bob’s is on Kaw Drive just west of 435.  I tweeted about it one time.  It’s hard to get a sandwich there that will fit in your stomach.  The show will air early August on Man vs Food on the Travel Channel.  Also, the Food Network’s new Meat and Potatoes show will air in September, featuring Westport Flea Market, Amigo’s Grill and Cantina and Danny Edward’s BBQ on the Boulevard.

**Someday Kansas City hopes to make national news for scientific breakthroughs and cultural significance…not fat.

A guy from Florissant, Mo caught a 130 pound catfish in the Missouri river breaking the old record by over 13 pounds.  The fish was old and frail and yet he still put up quite a fight.

**The fish was caught near St. Louis but said he is a Royals fan.  Because he’s a bottom dweller.

Paul McCartney performed at Sprint Center Saturday.  Paul is 68 and my mom turned 68 last week.  She has the same goal that Lindsay Lohan has in life – to outlive all of the Beatles.

**His concerts are about the same except, sometimes he accidentally sings ”HEY JUDE.. GET OFF MY LAWN!”

U.S. border authorities arrested a teenager on a bicycle entering Arizona from Mexico with a load of marijuana.

**Yet another reason for Kanye West boycott concerts in Arizona!

A powerful earthquake hit part of Alaska this weekend.

**It was so strong Sarah Palin said she could see New Madrid, Missouri from her home.

According to a new study of women and men, women are at their attractive best when they are 31. Much of that attractiveness, according to the survey, has to do with confidence.

**By then most women have moved on from the Mel Gibson in their lives!