Greetings from Kelly Urich, the most trusted name in music!

This is my first newsletter sent on the iPad so if the font is screwy and there are several mistakes you’ll know I’m getting used to this ridiculously small and touchy keyboard.  Aside from iTunes, I had never really ventured into the Mac world but I can already see this is much more user-friendly and my 9-year-old is teaching me everything I need to know.  She is already trying to find a way around the Adobe Flash Player issue.  The bad thing about owning an iPad is no matter where I go, no one can escape my boring family photos.

Become a GEN X FRIEND WITH BENEFITS TODAY!  Learn about free stuff..buy concert tickets before the general public and all things for the GEN X LOVER!  It really is amazing how many concert tickets and tickets to other events we give away every week.  Sign up today:
 http://friendswbenefits.genxkc.com/

According to a report from KCTV 5, the billions in federal stimulus money that’s being spent in Kansas and Missouri is only going to the people who can spend large sums of money immediately without regard to benefits to the community.

**Just don’t tell Gary Forsee…

The new USS Missouri submarine will officially be commissioned by the Navy in Connecticut.  It’s a $2 billion attack submarine that weighs 7,800 tons.  It’s designed to hunt and destroy enemy submarines, naval vessels and any ship flying the KU flag.

I downloaded Oksana’s album last night. Mel’s ranting may sound bad but it’s almost in perfect harmony with the album!

Last week a seven year-old girl in Lamar, Missouri decided to crawl inside a washing machine that she thought was out of order but after the door closed the machine turned on and minutes later police had to use a club to break the window to save her.
**She had two black eyes cuts all over her body and even today she feels a bit…agitated.

Ellen DeGeneres says she decided to leave because she was too busy and nice to continue doing it.  The inside news is Ellen’s agent, Justin Timberlake’s agent and Elton’s agent are all saying avoid this show because without Simon, the show is about to go down in flames.
**It’s just like Ryan Seacrest’s show without the guy who edits in people laughing in the background.  Just not the same…

TMZ says Kara Dioguardi has been fired.
**Without Simon and Kara, the show will have zero cleavage!

Got an email from a guy who has recorded at least part of every one of my shows since I took the job here at 99.7.
**I just hope he doesn’t work for Radar Online!

Rapper Nelly offered to do a concert for the city of Branson but the city said no way.  A unanimous vote rejected Nelly in a 6-0 vote.  Some are crying racism.

TOP 5 OTHER UNANIMOUS VOTES BY THE BRANSON CITY COUNCIL:

#5.  It’s illegal to use a rebel flag for a gas cap.

#4.  Any person wearing corn rows must also have a Dekalb sign stuck in their hair.

#3.  It’s okay to say “y’all” but you can never say “err body.”

#2.  City beautification budget can include money for naked lady mud flaps.

#1.  Nelly will be allowed to sing the national anthem at cock fights.

The mayor of Tonganoxie has resigned over racy photos he sent to council members and relatives from a city computer in 2007.  He lost his job, his authority, his reputation in the community, but he gained a bunch of Facebook friends!
**I’ve got your Tonganoxie split right here!!

That Lenexa man who disappeared 3 weeks ago was found alive and covered with insect bites on a trail south of Johnson Drive.  They found his truck July 8 at Shawnee Mission Park.  The Park ranger knew him and said, “Are you okay?”
The guy only responded…”That’s the last time I go drinking with Bill Grigsby.”

Casandra Andrews of Kansas City, KS is only 12 years old and 5 feet tall, but that didn’t stop her from diving into 11 feet of water and rescuing a 200 pound man back in June.  The 49 year old man had a pacemaker malfunction and went to the bottom of a pool like a brick.  12 year old Casandra jumped in and used all of her might to hoist him to safety.
**So you see, people who aren’t Gen Xers aren’t completely worthless.

Isaiah Mustafa the Nubian stud from the Old Spice commercials has landed a gig in the upcoming Jennifer Anniston movie, “Horrible Bosses.”
**Just a reason for Mackenzie to keep from sealing her windows and turning on the gas for another year.

According to a British survey, 70 percent of women over 35 say they wouldn’t date a man younger than 32.
**100 percent of men under 32 said they would be willing to hop on anything.

That’s all I have time for this week.  BTW!  Thanks for making the Margarita’s $1,000 wheel such a success.  Remember to tune in each weekday at 2:00 for the wheel spinning time and take your shot at a grand every single day on Gen X Radio 99.7!!